This is dedicated to Sir Humphrey Appleby, and to the brilliant late Nigel Hawthorn (who won 4 Baftas in that role). Those of have seen and loved the Yes Minister and Yes Minister series are indeed fortunte to have done so.(in my case 10 times over)
The more intensely I follow politics, the more amazed I am athow well anthony Jay and Jonathan Lynn understood the ins and outs of the public service and Government.
Sir Humphrey has of course become the classic definition of the hard nosed resistant senior public servants.
In this posting, I present some of his most brilliant one liner in "Yes MInister" and some from "Yes Prime MInister". Some quotes, I have paraphrased as my recollection may be different to the actual dialogue, and names in brackets indicate who Sir Humphrey is refering to when making the particular statement:
(Prime Minister) has no business being a politician if can't ignore facts!
Prime MInister! It takes time to get things done now!
Prime Minister, in government, a clarification is not to make things clear. It's to *put* oneself in the clear!
If people don't know what you're doing, they don't know what you're doing wrong.
'The matter is under consideration' means we have lost the file. 'The matter is under active consideration' means we are trying to find the file.
Politicians must be allowed to panic. They need activity. It is their substitute for achievement.
The Prime Minister doesn't want the truth, he wants something he can tell Parliament.
The Official Secrets Act is not to protect secrets, it is to protect officials.
The surprising things about academics is not that they have their price, but how low that price is.
It is only totalitarian governments that suppress facts. In this country we simply take a democratic decision not to publish them!
A good political speech is not one in which you can prove that the man is telling the truth; it is one where no one else can prove he is lying.
Politicians speeches are not written for the audience to which they are delivered. Delivering the speech is merely the formality that has to be gone through in order to get the press release into the newspapers.
Ministers do not believe they exist unless they are reading about themselves in the newspapers.
Too much Civil Service work consists of circulating information that isn't relevant about subjects that don't matter to people who aren't interested!
Government is not about morality, it is about stability; keeping things going, preventing anarchy, stopping society falling to bits. Still being here tomorrow!
Government is about principles. And the principle is, never act on principle!
The first rule of politics: never believe anything until it's been officially denied.
Tell the press a story in two halves - the problem first and the solution later. Then they get a disaster story one day and triumph story the next.
If you do not want Cabinet to spend too long discussing something, make it last on the agenda before lunch
Britain should always be on the side of law and justice, so long as we don't allow it to affect our foreign policy.
Diplomacy is about surviving to the next century. Politics is about surviving until Friday afternoon.
Government is not a team. It is a loose confederation of warring tribes.
You can't put the nation's interest at risk just because of some silly sentimentality about justice.
The Foreign Office are not spineless. It takes a great deal of strength to do nothing all the time.
The Foreign Office aren't there to do things. They're there to explain why things can't be done.
We must get the Government to do what teh Unions want, since teh Government always changes its policies and Unions never do theirs!
A Local Council Mayor referring to the poor and homeless in her Borough:" How would you like to be around smelly, sweaty, drunks all day everyday Sir Humphrey?"
Sir Humphrey: "I don't! That's why I never stood for Parliament!"
Government Policy and political ideas have nothing to do with facts!
(Political) clarification is not about making yourself clear, it's about putting yourself in the clear!
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I will be posting more quotes as I come across them
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